My Voice...Sans Filter

This is where I come to write what I shouldn't say, but probably already did.

Jungle Love

Today in my jogging class (yes, jogging) we were discussing possible dangers of jogging. My classmates responses ran the gamut of what most suburban anglophiles could expect; dogbites, twisted ankles, getting lost, car accidents. Then it came to me. My input? “When my military unit was deployed in Kenya we had a running trail along the beach and through the jungle, one day a marine was running alone wearing short running shorts, he was chased down and raped by a male baboon. Not dry-humped; raped.” It wasn’t a contest, but I’d like to think I won. For the record, had I been that marine, I would have kept that to myself.

In an elevator on the way to class today, Jason and I were laughing back and forth about something when this chick on the elevator says into her phone, “Yeah, I can’t hear you. I’m on an elevator.” It didn’t register a first, but I realized that since this elevator is made of mostly glass and outside, there’s no reception problem. I’m pretty sure what she wanted to say was more along the lines of “I can’t hear you, there’s two full-grown men in here giggling like school girls at a Hello Kitty convention.”

We get over things pretty quickly

  • Vallejo: Dude I just heard Heath Ledger killed himself!
  • Me: I read they think it's drugs. Either way that sucks.
  • Vallejo: For sure that sucks he had like two young kids! Bummer!!
  • Me: At least he finished Batman.
  • Vallejo: Yeah!! It's gonna be so sick!!

Maybe we couldn’t be so easily convinced to wage unnecessary wars if people cared as much about soldiers and foreign civilians as they do about actors.

Clothing: No Longer Optional

So I abandoned my new found exercise of sleeping in the nude. Not because it didn’t feel good, it was awesome, but because one of my many irrational fears is dying and having someone find me dead AND naked. Since I spend a good third of my day asleep it seemed like a pretty big risk to take. So now my naked time is reduced to an average of under an hour a day.

Call Vegas

Senator Joe Biden (D-De) will be the next Secretary of State.

When you’re going through hell, keep going.

—Winston Churchill

An Epicurean Quandary

  • Russ: I SO shoulda gotten down with your taco when I had the chance!
  • Suzie: I told you! I'm going to auction it off now
  • Russ: I just realized how dirty that sounds to someone who doesn't know whats going on
  • Suzie: Yea me too

Let’s all go to the Planetarium!!

On my way out to meet some friends, I was listening to the radio and a promo started. The announcer said to come and see Pink Floyd like I’ve never seen them before. It was a promo for a laser light show. I thought to myself, “Isn’t that how everyone since 1976 has seen Pink Floyd?” Now if it was a drag queen and two midgets performing an interpretive dance to “Hole in the Wall”, that would be a way I’d never seen it performed

Two Burgles and Fries Please

I think we should change the word “burglarized” to “burgled”. As in “Jason, did you hear? Wyatt’s station wagon got burgled last night.” It just seems less violent and yet…tastier.