I heard a saying today, “There’s two things you don’t want the public to see how they’re made; Sausages and Laws.” I think we could safely say Little-Baby-Hands flavored jam is on that list.
Three separate times on the elevator at school I was alone with one other person. No words were exchanged with any of them, I was just staring out the window or sending a text message, but all three felt the need when they got out to say, “Have a good one!” Or “Take it easy!” I must seem very easy to talk to. Like a priest, just without the rampant pedophilia.
This is what America’s tax dollars paid us for. It’s quite possible we were drunk off of mouthwash and 0.5% alcohol. Take notice of the knife at 1:58. He later said that despite the months of convoys in Iraq, when he felt my knife against his forehead, that was his scariest moment of the tour.
Make mine medium rare with a side of adorable
I came to the realization today that my motive for wanting to save the enviroment is entirely predicated on the fact that I really really want to try a Panda steak. Rhinoceros burgers sound kinda tasty too
No habla espanol
Every now and then I answer the phone with a cheery “Bienvinedos.” I just found out that apparently my spanish isn’t that good and bienvinedos actually means “welcome.” Since no one mentioned this, I guess my friends are about as awesome at spanish as I am. I’m still tempted to answer the phone the same way out of habit. Hopefully people will just assume I mean “Welcome (to this conversation).”
Polka at an Irish festival? ¡No me gusta!
edit- oh my God, they just did the “Chicken Dance”
You say “tomato”, I say “you’re an idiot”
I’m sitting in a lecture and my professor keeps pronouncing W.E.B. Du Bois as “Du Bwa.” I could understand if this was a casual conversation, but you’re a college professor! And an African-American! Has the standard of education degraded so much in this country that this is acceptable?
I’m not sure how I feel about the tiger carcasses or monkey bones, but I believe every American should have the right to bear arms.
Stupid Clash and their catchy tunes
Today while discussing the intricacies of sharia law in my Poli Sci class, for some reason, I started singing/muttering “Rock The Casbah” under my breath. People noticed. I should really consider taking better notes to occupy my time.
Whenever I’m asked to give an interesting factoid about myself, I usually mention that I’m one of very few people to have not only hand-fed a Hippopotamus, but to have survived the ensuing attack caused by the petting of the hippo’s snout. People usually don’t believe me, so I keep this photo in my phone as proof.
This photo was taken during my “backpack period.” There’s obviously nothing in it, but I had a thing about always having it with me just in case.
