December 2007
9 posts
“When you’re going through hell, keep going.”
– Winston Churchill
An Epicurean Quandary
Russ: I SO shoulda gotten down with your taco when I had the chance!
Suzie: I told you! I'm going to auction it off now
Russ: I just realized how dirty that sounds to someone who doesn't know whats going on
Suzie: Yea me too
Let's all go to the Planetarium!!
On my way out to meet some friends, I was listening to the radio and a promo started. The announcer said to come and see Pink Floyd like I’ve never seen them before. It was a promo for a laser light show. I thought to myself, “Isn’t that how everyone since 1976 has seen Pink Floyd?” Now if it was a drag queen and two midgets performing an interpretive dance to “Hole...
Two Burgles and Fries Please
I think we should change the word “burglarized” to “burgled”. As in “Jason, did you hear? Wyatt’s station wagon got burgled last night.” It just seems less violent and yet…tastier.
All Three Inches of Dangling Fury
I’m considering a switch from sleeping in boxers to sleeping naked. My only worry is that in the event my house gets burglarized, I’d end up running downstairs naked swinging a baseball bat. Maybe that sight alone would scare off a would-be criminal? Ok, probably not scare; but at least confuse him long enough for me to get a shot in.
“Your next action could change the world, so make it a good one.”
– The outgoing voice-mail message of my friend, Gershon, a Hasidic Jew living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
A complete list of things caused by global warming →
And I thought it was only the ice caps.
Take It Easy
I just realized that Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about driving a car slowly. It’s about sex!